I sent out two different WiPs for critiques in the last twenty-four hours. It wasn't until a few hours later that I realized when writing to my CPers, I categorized one WiP as a "disaster" and the other as a "massacre".
Why did I do that?
I often use self-depricating humor, but I wasn't attempting to be funny with either comment. No--I really believe that one is a disaster and the other a massacre.
Obviously--this isn't actually the case. As anyone who has survived a massacre or a disaster can tell you, my WiPs won't rise to this level of atrocity. After all, they aren't death inducing or anything.
But still I think it.
There is a certain amount of angstyness that comes with being any kind of artist. As writers, we often have this vision of what we can create, and when we fall short of that, good ol' angst comes out. And the frustration and disheartenment. But at what point are we injuring ourselves and our artistry by using disparaging words to describe our work?
There is also the tug of reality. That when I observe my WiP from a distance, I am aware that it isn't as good as it can be, which leads me to conclude that it isn't good enough, allowing me to tag the phrase "massacre" onto something that I really care about.
Or maybe I used the terms so that if my CPers find them awful, it lessens the blow. I can pass it off as--yeah, that's what I thought. But this doesn't make a lot of sense either because I can't imagine either of these wonderful CPers using such harsh terms to describe something I've spent so many hours creating.
Whatever the reason, the only person I am doing a disservice to is myself. I owe myself more. And I owe the characters in my WiPs more.
Instead I should be proud of what I've created. It doesn't matter that it isn't exactly what I envisioned yet--that is, after all, why one has CPers.
But it is a hard mindset to shatter. Because still, in my darkest thoughts, I think one is a disaster and the other a massacre.
Do you disparage your WiPs? Are these thoughts just par for the course?